Anatomy of a Bulgarian Restaurant
We have spent more time than I am entirely comfortable with in Bulgarian tourist restaurants lately. Here’s what to expect, should you bow to the greeter’s blandishments:
EXHIBIT A: LIVE ENTERTAINMENT
Bonus points for spotting the dead animal in the background.
Live music is popular. This comes in two varieties. A depressed bloke with a Casio keyboard and a passionate hatred for Greeks exacerbated by lengthy sessions on cruise ships.
Or… The all-pleather chanteuse. Score triple points for spotting the guns and liquor, which sum up the region’s traditional leisure activities in a nutshell. Happy Easter!
EXHIBIT B: DEAD ANIMALS
Endangered species? It will be soon...
The dead animals adorning the walls of some of these places would get you arrested in the UK. I am no ornithologist. But a) that looks like a golden eagle. And b) I’ve not seen many of them hanging around lately. Have you?
EXHIBIT C: VILE CARPETS
Because NOTHING says authentic like a carpet on the wall.
Bulgaria is proud of its Ottoman heritage. Which means this cheap rose-on-black pattern carpet will follow you through tourist restaurants like a bad, bad smell.
EXHIBIT D: MAN WITH MOUSTACHE, SMOKING
Can *you* spot the gun in this picture?
Of course, no Bulgarian “mekhana” would be complete without an open grill, and a chap manning it, generally equipped with a florid moustache, a cigarette and a general air of Slav melancholy, not helped by the fact that he has probably spent the afternoon shovelling snow. Score bonus points if you talk to him and he says something rude about the Greeks.
EXHIBIT F: BEWILDERING DISHES PRICED BY THE GRAMME
600g of bundles of grandmother? I'll take ten!
I am soooo trying this, tomorrow. I’ll report back. Because Bulgaria’s not all about the lokum, you know… And who doesn’t, honestly, want to know the weight of their dinner, by the gramme?
It was all funny until one particular sentence. Bulgarians would kill you and put you up along with those dead animals for decoration if you tell them how proud they are of their “Ottoman heritage”. I am shivering just thinking about it. It is the most hated period of the history. Period.
Fuck, sorry! I almost pulled that, as well, because it was phrased wrongly. I’ll leave it in, now, because I’ve published it, and feel stupid as I do so. What I was trying to get at is something completely different from what I’ve said, which is that the Ottoman heritage is very obvious in Bulgaria (which would probably also get me shot. But for a better — ? — reason.) Lazy writing… Bulgarians “embrace their Ottoman heritage” (no). “The Ottoman influence is obvious in Bulgaria…” Would either of those be better?
Slightly 😉
It is justified if you are sure the carpet is of of Ottoman origin? It doesn’t look Islamic to me.
Hmmm… I don’t normally edit things retrospectively, except for typos, so I’m inclined to leave the clanger as is and these comments up here correcting it (particularly given the type of piece it is).
And, no, it’s not an Ottoman style of carpet. But I’d say that from lokum through to public architecture through to broader styles of cooking, there’s (unsurprisingly, given ?500 years? of occupation) a strong influence. I guess I now need to research whether Thracians or Bulgars developed carpet styles — although the Byzantines had them in their later years so…. EGAD.
But, thanks for the correction. It is a howler.
No worries.
And yes, Ottoman influence is there and most definitely not surprising, just unwanted.
Keep me up on your carpet research 😉
Ha! We are in Bulgaria at the moment and haven’t dined out yet, but now I’m really looking forward to the experience, especially the macho man with a cigarette manning the grill!
Anything with a greeter offering a “traditional Bulgarian experience” will have a macho man on tap!
Hysterical! It is always amazing how many different cultural norms there are and how they can seem so foreign to a traveler. Makes travel so interesting.
Gotta be honest though… the mustachiod man really put this over the top. Could be Ron Swanson’s brother: http://lookattheseronswansonfaces.tumblr.com/
Bizarrely, you will see a lot of men who look like that in the mountains in Bulgaria. There were some incredible looking older women on the train with us. But I was too scared to snap their pictures…
I see Geri already caught it and you specified your meaning, but my husband (who is Bulgarian) insists that I write that Bulgarians are most definitely NOT proud of their Ottoman heritage (500 years of occupation would leave anyone with a bad taste in their mouth). You are right in that evidence of it is still all around–especially in southern BG where we live. As for the rug? It doesn’t look particularly Islamic to me either. I am really enjoying your Bulgaria posts, keep ’em coming!
/hangs head in shame/
More Bulgaria posts coming up… (Without any major howlers, I hope.)
I was about to go ballistic because of that Ottoman remark but since I see that Theodora has take to heart the mistake I will keep quiet and laugh at your hilarious description. Most of it true. I wouldn’t really attest to Bulgarians trashing Greeks 24/7 ….they talk smack about us …we talk smack about them …but at the end everybody wholeheartedly hates the Turks lol ….and that carpet is not Turkish if it was it would be burned hahha
I guess the Greeks are a particular topic right now because of the economy — though, yes, everything pales before hatred of the Turks…