6 Signs That Say You’re a Long Way from Home

1: A helpful guide to museum etiquette.

Thanks to all at the museum in Fort Rotterdam, Makassar, for these handy hints on how to behave in places of learning. Next time I am thinking of making like a chimp with my droppings, I’ll be sure to think again.

2: Instructions on how to use the toilet.

Makassar airport, Indonesia, caters both to Westerners and locals on, perhaps, their first flight ever. Which is why the Western-style thrones have these handy instructions on the side of the cubicle.

3: Weapons? Just leave them with the cabin crew.

Thanks to Balikpapan airport, Indonesia, for this reassuring sign. Indonesian airlines aren’t exactly famed for their safety standards. And you do not need to show identification when boarding internal flights. So the notion that gunmen can simply pass their AK-47s to cabin crew and recoup them upon landing made the check-in experience extra, extra-special.

As did the reminder about ditching procedures, when about to ascend to 20-odd thousand feet over the ocean in a flying bucket courtesy of Indonesia’s answer to RyanAir.

4: A panacea for all ills.

Toothache circumcise? Cance by fish sting? Nail pointed strike? Or just keen to stay firm all night? The miracle substance known as Gambir, sold from stalls in Sarawak, Malaysian Borneo, will cover all bases. And then some.

5: And the other one has bells on.

In Georgetown, Malaysia, taxi drivers quite literally hide their meters under blankets and will not, to paraphrase Linda Evangelista, get out of bed for anything less than 20 ringgit. And the signs on the doors change nothing, I tell you, nothing.

6: The perfect pairing?

This 24-hour restaurant in Teluk Bahang, Malaysia, serves delicious fish head curry. Also delicious banana pancakes. Just, perhaps, best not together?

Have any comedy signs caught your eye lately? At home, or on your travels?